Movies That Settle: A Christmas Story

In The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Nick Cage posits that naming one favorite movie out of the millions that have been made is futile, and that it is more based on timing and mood. By the way, that movie is brilliant and everyone should see it.

I don’t know what my favorite movie is, especially based on Cage’s criteria, but if I were to think about movies that I return to time and time again, and never get tired of, those would be movies that would probably round out the top three; My wife and I have watched Jaws every summer for the last ten years, and I have never turned off Silence of the Lambs, no matter what else is going on in my life when it is on. But the one movie at the top of that list, and will never be knocked off, is the story of a little boy whose only want is a BB gun, A Christmas Story.

I am probably not alone in this. Nowadays, TBS famously plays its 24 Hours of A Christmas Story Marathon every year on Christmas Eve until 8:00 p.m. Christmas Day, and I usually watch it as much as possible in those 24 hours, but I’m old enough to remember that, when my family first got cable, it was shown randomly throughout December, and even though I had seen it in the theater when I was very young, those random weeknight showings were what caused me to fall in love with it.

And I know I am not alone in that, because A Christmas Story was my mother’s favorite movie, and I know it was because of those random weeknight viewings. There wasn’t a Guide channel in those days, so my mom would still channel surf, and whenever she came upon Ralphie getting up to something, or the Old Man fake-swearing at his neighbors’ dogs (Her favorite line? After one of them got his tail stuck in the door, “Serves you right, ya smelly buggers.”), she would put the remote down. She was settled in for the night. She used to say that she probably never saw the whole thing beginning to end, but when she came upon it, she would say, “Look, it’s Ralphie! (I think it took her a few years to even learn the actual name of the movie) This is the part when Santa kicks him down the slide!.” 

A few years ago, I brought my parents to a special screening at an actual movie theater, so my mother could finally see it from beginning to end, and learn what the actual story of A Christmas Story was. It was great, but by that point, I don’t think it really mattered. What she loved about the movie were the performances. She loved the former Night Stalker Darren McGavin as The Old Man, constantly fake-swearing at his furnace. She loved Ralphie’s Mom, who always exhibited poise in the face of abject insanity (except when it came to the sexy leg lamp), but also left his son’s bully, Scut Farkus, bleeding in the snow after Ralphie snapped and beat the bejesus out of him, a sure sign that she knew that he deserved it. Mostly, however, she loved Ralphie, who, as I was told every holiday season for many, many years, reminded her of me. I’m sure a lot of kids across the country were told the same thing. I suppose that just speaks to the appeal of the character, but there had to be something to it because I don’t think she ever told my brother that.

Even though Ralphie is basically the main character, I feel like it is actually about his parents, and any well-written movie can be turned around in that way with some minor tweaking. After the aforementioned incident with the bully, Ralphie was sure that his father would hear about what he had done, and not only would his hopes of receiving his coveted Red Rider BB gun for Christmas be dashed, but any hopes of living to see the following day would be dashed, as well. However, his mother doesn’t tell her husband the whole truth, just that he had a fight and that she “gave him a talking to,” and Ralphie and his mom exchange knowing glances, and in the voiceover, Ralphie notes, “From then on, things were were different between me and my mother.” He appreciates her now, and sees that she is not there to ruin his fun or keep his precious BB gun away from him. She’s just looking out for him. We should all be as lucky as Ralphie to have a mother like he did.

The Old Man also has a hidden nice streak, as he actually gets Ralphie the BB gun for Christmas. Even after his major award is destroyed, he hears his son utter the “F--- word,” and his furnace sounds like it will explode at any minute, the Old Man can muster up the Christmas spirit to make his son’s wish come true. The best part was that at no point during the movie did Ralphie mention to his father that that was the gift that he wanted. Sometimes, parents just know. 

Similarly to the way that I reminded my mother of Ralphie, I can say that Ralphie’s Mom reminded me of my own mother, with her patience and kindness and willingness to do whatever it took to protect her children, even over-dressing them in winter coats and hats on their way to school. At the time, I thought she was being overprotective, but as an adult, I now realize she was only guilty of loving her children. It makes me very sad to think that I will never sit and enjoy A Christmas Story with her again, as she passed away just before Thanksgiving. It is never easy to lose a parent, but the holidays will be a little sadder this year. In fact. The entire world will be a little sadder without her in it.

I’m not sure how I will feel watching Ralphie and his Old Man this year during the 24-hour marathon. I will obviously feel great sadness, knowing that I can’t sit on the couch next to Mom and laugh with her. But the memories of the many times we did it will always make me happy. Even during that 23rd hour. Wherever you are now, Mom, I hope the Christmas Story marathon never ends.   

Happy Holidays, everybody. Spread some cheer, and (I gotta say it) spread the word.